My Birth Daughter's 20th Birthday Letter by Terri Rimmer

Aug. 5, 2020

Dear McKenna:

On Aug. 15 you'll turn 20 which doesn't seem possible at all, much like everything that has happened this year has seemed that way.

When I think and reflect upon the last 20 years and compare them to some of my fellow birth moms who also went through Gladney with me, our stories are different, yet the same.

Some went on to have other kids and be single moms, successful, or get married. One went on to get married and have a big family. One got married, had more kids, and sees her kids frequently. Ashley, the one who made your baby blanket you went home in, got married, had a son, and reunited with her birth daughter at Christmas for the first time.

As you start your sophomore year of college, I am in awe of who you have become these 20 years. 

When I was getting ready to do the same thing, I was attending what is now the University of West Georgia, moving into Downs Hall and my roommate was this polished girl named Robin. My friends and I in the dorm used to watch "Miami Vice" on weekends and play Trivial Pursuit. I was a staff writer for the student newspaper, majoring in Mass Comm, minoring in English. My best friend was Peggy Ohst who was my personal cheerleader when I struggled with math.

That Halloween I dressed up as a Crayola crayon and went with some friends to a party. Someone had dressed up as Madonna and was running down the dorm hall asking me if she looked like her. There was a double feature showing on campus and it was hard to sit down with poster board wrapped around me but I managed. The movies were "Alien" and the other I can't remember.  

I'm excited that you're moving into your first apartment and will be able to have your car and dog with you. 

I'm so sorry your freshman year got interrupted by the corona virus but it didn't slow you down any, not in remote classes or working in the summer, even buffing the floors that day with the boys at the rink. You have always been resilient and resourceful.

When I think about you I have always pictured possibility and an incredible spirit.

Even though we haven't seen each other in a long time, the updates from your mom makes me prouder and reassures me that you are going to continue to do well.

I want you to know that no matter what happens in college or in life you can achieve or overcome anything with God by your side.

Last year when I totaled my car, lost my job, and other things happened, I thought, "Well, I might as well go back to church" so I did.

When I walked into the Sunday school H.O.P.E. class (Heavenly Options for Pain & Suffering), I saw the word Hope in capital letters and I thought about your middle name. It resonated with me.

I've been attending that church for over a year now.

Recently, I've been watching motivational videos on You Tube, but not the kind featuring a guy in a fancy suit trying to sell you something. These are about women who overcame the odds, like Turia Pitt, an Australian athlete who was burned in a fire and is still a marathon runner but also a motivational speaker. She has been a good antidote for my depression. Very inspiring.

There are so many like her and men, too. It makes me realize how fortunate I am and that I can get up and move.

When I was pregnant with you, Gladney had us girls make a box and decorate the outside however we wanted to and fill it with mementos of our time there to take home with us. I used all kinds of glitters and various things to make it stand out. I titled it "My Little Miracle 2000." I still have it.

When people talk about the year 2000 now it doesn't seem like it was 20 years ago that I was anticipating your personality and feeling like the luckiest woman in the world for having chosen Larry and Vicki for you.

But then sometimes it does seem like a long time ago when I realize how photography has changed, when I see the age lines on my face and hear the maturity through the emails I get from your mom.

That is when I know.

You really have been on this earth 20 years.

I hope you have a great birthday, moving into your new apartment.

I love you,

Terri